Ended up getting sick yesterday, and of course woke up feeling worse today. I'm not sure when I'll be doing another pull because I'm just exhausted at the moment, I'm hoping this doesn't last long. Being sick is always a pain.

Yesterday I spent a good chunk of it on Warframe and ended the night with Dead by Daylight then Bloons TD 6. Hoping to try and play some more Warframe today though. It's interesting how far I've come in that game. I spent a good year or so stuck at MR5-7 because I had no clue how to gain exp and would stay with the same weapons most of the time. After starting to play with my fiance I looked it up and figured it out so now I'm MR21. Never thought I would be one to switch to different weapons or warframes. I generally use the same weapons but I have so many prime warframes I switch between now. It started off with Wukong and Trinity but now I'm mostly playing Zephyr and Hildryn. Khora is growing on me though, and I do still play Wukong and Trinity just depends on my mood and the mission.

I'm super stoked for the 1999 update and the story there is to come with that. I love the lore and story of this game even if I'm not as in depth with it as others may be. Jade and Dagath's stories are probably my favorites other than human Loid and the 1999 stuff. Last night before my fiance hopped off we had accidentally discovered Jade's Promise in the conclave and it was such a saddening thing to read but gave so much more insite to how Jade was feeling which we had tried to theorize around when she first released, we weren't too far off at least and I love that.

CW: Sad, Discussion of Past Pet Death

You can scroll to the next division line to skip reading all this if you'd like.

Speaking of beautiful writing on Bluesky the other day I found an artist who is making their own Silent Hill creatures based off their own demons and mental health. One of these creatures was Argos' Lullaby. Which I heavily resonate with. In the simplest way possible to describe it is the story behind this one is the creators guilt and grief around their first dog who was not doing well health wise and ended up needing to be put down. I heavily recommend reading the original post because of how thought out and well written it is. The symbolism in the art is also intense and you realize a lot about the creature's design once you've finished reading.

I resonate with this for very similar reasoning. My first dog, Mollie, didn't get a great upbringing. I was a child and my parents are good people but weren't the best for her. I feel if I was older she would've been better off. Regardless though she lived a good 14 years and was happy. In the end though she was suffering and we couldn't get anywhere to get her put down so her last week she was fully unable to walk and would just lay. I hated seeing her like that. I spent that whole last week holding her and giving her all the love I could, at this point I was around 16 or so, she was 2 years younger than me. I actually had named her when I was 2 when we adopted her according to my parents at least. I stayed home from school one day and spent the whole time with her and crying of course. I wanted to help her so badly but I was just a kid and it was her old age catching up with her. The next morning she had passed in her sleep and I had to go to school anyway because I couldn't afford to miss more days due to the school's strict rules. It was difficult to get through that day because I had wished there was more I could do. I have her collar with me whenever I leave the house wrapped around my bag or backpack strap. Our second family dog, Rockie, passed a few years later due to sudden lung complications and I keep his dog tag on my keychain. I miss them both dearly but I'm glad they were still happy.

Argos' Lullaby was comforting to read especially knowing I wasn't alone with my guilt. We were both kids and there was only so much we could do in our circumstances.

Moving past the sad now. I really need to get better at advertising. I run 2 discord servers and a forum. Only one of the servers is really going anywhere though at the same time I'm still appreciative of my small communities. The forum is probably the hardest one since it's such a specific thing. Even if it doesn't grow very much I'm still quite happy with how it has turned out. I'm using proboards with some plugins installed. I had just freshly watched 8-BitRyan play Into the Pit so I decided to theme the forum after Five Night's at Feddy's as a whole. What inspired it the most was Jeff's Pizza but I called the forum "Your Local Pizzeria" it's supposed to just be a general hangout spot. I feel like people on cohost would've enjoyed it but I made my forum after cohost went down sadly. There are two different cohost forums as well though for people who were on there.

Other than that I've been just updating my site like adding this blog and heavily updating my Resources and Buttons page. I recently revamped it to be more organized and have clickable categories instead of being just one big list of links. I also recently added sections for people who don't even have their own websites but do art or gamedev. I love sharing resources with people and helping out others. Being able to make this website has helped me learn a lot in the time I've had it. It's also just come a really long way in general. At first it was just one page with some tabs with my info and links and now it's a ton of pages, shrines, and resources all together.

That's it for the blog post today though. It was nice writing down my thoughts. Thank you for reading. :)